Good News Travels Fast - Week 4

The last time I felt like this was the day I got back from the Bahamas when Bryan and I were engaged. Everyone was congratulating me and I was walking on cloud 9. This time I feel that, times 9893898394839483948.

Infertility, and going through it, has been a tough battle for me because throughout life, I was able to get what I wanted/needed and accomplish my goals by working hard and planning. This wasn't like this. Cheerleading captain, getting into college, sorority president, graduating, getting a teaching job, getting 2 masters, getting engaged, and getting a house. Everything I worked for. It was obtainable. This was the one thing as hard as I worked, was out of my control. So achieving it, and becoming pregnant, was beyond my wildest dreams.

Friends, family, and coworkers were beyond happy for me. I got hugs, kisses, flowers, cards, and a cute monkey blanket!! It made me feel so good to see so many people get so excited and happy for me. Some friends (ahem Cynthia) cried each time I announced it to someone and that made my heart happy :) All my friends and family were still supporting me, as they did all along and I knew my baby was coming into a world that he/she will  be loved.

One thing I was excited to learn, through the 5 apps I downloaded, was that I am 4 weeks pregnant!! I had thought 2 weeks, due to my conception date being Mother's Day. However, I learned they base it on your cycle, and therefore I was 4 weeks! It was exciting to know that I had fast-forwarded 2 weeks!

4 Weeks

Baby is the size of a Poppyseed

116 lbs. *as of 5/29/14

Bun in the Oven :)

The wait...and outcome

The wait was unbearable. I think it might have been worse then the nightly shots. And these were BIG shots.

We were so excited, but cautiously excited. Bryan was positive the whole way but I couldn't help but worry. Thankfully for all my friends and family, I had lots of prayers.

I didn't feel many symptoms during my waiting period. At times I had headaches, and some light naseasa but nothing too crazy. I didn't want to attribute it to "pregnancy symptoms" until I knew.


Sunday May 25 came around, the day I waited all month for. I was so nervous I barely slept the night before. As I pressed the button for the 4th floor, I was so nervous, but leaving it to faith.

Afterwards I went home and went about my day. I knew calls came in between 12-3 but I was watching my phone as early as 10am.

Finally, at 12:38 the call came in.

 

We made many phone calls to our family and friends. It was surreal. As expected, everyone was so happy for us. It felt amazing. This was the first most amazing news we had received in a very long while. As my aunt stated, finally joy was back in many of our lives after losing my mom and grandma. Thankfully, I know it was my angels that gave us this angel on mother's day.


Dear Baby Vincent,

I love you so much. I can't wait to spend the next 9 months with you, and can't wait to meet you in 9 months. I love you.

Transfer Day

My appointment was scheduled later in the day but I woke up so early with excitement. I ran errands in the morning buying baby gifts, shower gifts, and did some light cleaning. I got a call around noon asking if I could come in a little earlier then I was scheduled for and I ofcourse said Yes.

Since Bryan was working in the morning, I met him at the hospital. When I got there I started drinking my bottle of water. Anyone who knows me knows it takes me forever to drink water, let alone finish a bottle. I had to finish this bottle in an hour and I did it like a champ. Anything for that little embryo!

After finishing my water, the nurse asked me to come back and change into my "hospital gear." I was SO excited to get to wear those socks again! Once I changed, the nurse asked me questions and then Bryan came back and joined me to wait to talk to the dr about our little embies!

Once the dr came we started discussing our embryos and what would be best. She told us that she only wanted to put one in since putting two in can result in twins and that can result in a lot of risks. She stated that out of the 6 embryos, 4 were still strong and healthy. They were freezing 3 and putting one in me. Although we went into this expecting to put one in, we understood why she wanted to only put in one. Bryan agreed with her and I was wisked away to pick up my baby!

I walked into the operating room and was not as nervous as the last time. I laid down on the table and got into position. I now realized how bad I had to pee. The team of doctors were amazing to me and made me feel really comfortable. I was told to look up at the screen once the dr started inserting tools, and was asked to verify my name on the dish with my embie! I then got to see the most perfect special little embie I had ever seen! I said outloud "OMG ITS SO CUTE!" and was happy when the one dr said "we think so too." I was able to watch, on the screen, the drs take my little embie out of its growing dish, get sucked into the catheter, and then inserted into me! All of this totally took my distraction away from any pain, and the fact that I was spread eagle with my legs up in the air with bright lights on me.

Afterwards I was so happy I couldn't wait to see Bryan. The dr wheeled me into the recovery area, gave me a new heated blanket,  and went over recovery directions. She then gave me a picture of my little embie and I got all teared up! I never knew that something so small could mean SO much to me. I realized that everything I had done up until this point was well worth it for this beautiful little embryo.

Bryan came in after 9 minutes. I know this because I had to wait 20 minutes to pee and had to pee so bad that I was getting minute updates from the nurse. Once he got there I got distracted again showing him our little baby. Seeing how happy he was, again, made me all teary eyed. He couldn't wait to tell his friends and family about our little embie.

Dear Little Embryo,

You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Although this is not the conventional way I had pictured, you are the most perfect little embryo we could have asked for. You are a mix of your daddy and myself and our love. Because of you, I was able to be stronger than I expcted to be and do things I didn't think I could. I hope and pray the best for you and us. I was once told the higher the climb, the better the view and I think all of the hard work has proved to be worth it seeing you today. I love you.

Love always,

Mommy and Daddy (and Jordan, Lynxie, Romo & Bella)

Post Egg Retrieval

The next few days post egg retrieval (PER) were exciting but felt long due to the waiting game. Here's how they went:


1 Day post-egg retrieval:

I was very sore but had to go to work due to state testing. Went to work and wore a dress because all my pants were tight around my stomach that was already in pain. Probably should have taken an easy but was up on my feel almost the whole day. Around noon I got the call I was waiting for!

• 7 eggs retrieved
• 6 were mature
• 6 were fertilized!

The was the most amazing news I could get! The nurse said a Wednesday (Day 3) transfer was scheduled but she would call me Wednesday morning if anything changed. I was super excited!

Throughout the day I realized that being on my feet all day was a bad idea because I was in pain. After work I enjoyed just relaxing on the couch thinking of my embies. Did my second night of PIO on the other side and was starting to feel "sore" from the first PIO shot.

Day 2 Post Egg Retrieval:

Still had some discomfort and soreness in my stomach and bloating. Felt somewhat better but also had a "sore ass" from 2 nights of PIO on either side. Tonight had to repeat a side and that was tough but we got through it. Was excited for the possibility of picking up my embies tomorrow!


Day 3 Post Egg Retrieval: Transfer scheduled for today

Went into work for state testing but planned on leaving at 12 if needed. Around 11 I got a call stating:

*All 6 eggs are still alive and going strong
*Due to the fact that the eggs are so strong, we are doing a Day 5 Transfer instead
* A day 5 transfer will allow for the embryos to develop more and into the next stage of development.
*an eSET (Elective Single Embryo Transfer) is their plan of action.

Single? Hmm, that was never an option for me. I had always planned on putting in at least 2, maybe 3, with the expectation that they might not ALL make it. I also understood the chance I might have multiples (twins) but was ok with that. This news through me a curveball!

Day 4 Post Egg Retrieval:

Thankfully most pain has gone away (except my PIO injection sites)! But I can't help but think about tomorrow and how many eggs I should put in/they will let me put in. Keep going back and forth between 2 vs 1. Its healthier for myself and the future baby to have 1 put in but what about the chances that one doesn't make it? I did a lot more research and still was torn. I figured I would talk to the dr and let them make the final call.

Retrieval Day

The weekend of the egg retrieval was very uplifting. I was really excited to be spending my Mother's Day in this most special way. The day before the retrieval I had some extra good luck come my way! They always say babies are good luck so I made sure to hold Evie extra long when she came and visited!

The night before the retrieval I was so excited I almost couldn't sleep- but did. Bryan went and got us Wendy's as a last meal around 9pm before my "No food or drink" rule went into affect at midnight.

The next morning I was full of joy when I woke up and saw the sun shining. After visiting my mom we headed over to the hospital! We were early and eager! Even though we were early, they still made us wait till our appointment time. Getting there early allowed me to see other girls going through the different phases. I was handed a card to give to Bryan so he could "track" me throughout the process.




Card to "track" me
 



Before

When it was time, my name was called. Here's a summary of how the rest played out.

1.  Went with nurse into pre-op area where she had me strip down and put on the standard hospital attire but it included a comfy robe and socks with grips on the bottom (which I totally wanted to  keep).
2. Sat down in a mini-area and had blood pressure checked and she went over my name and information again.
3. Bryan and my dad were allowed to come sit with me after this while I waited.
4. Met the anesthesiologist and dr came to check on me. Loved that the anesthesiologist was from London! He was such a chipper guy, made me feel comfortable (for a brief time).    
5. Took a "Before Picture: : (see side)
6. Bryan and my dad had to leave and after kisses goodbye I was walked into the operating room. I was cool, calm, and collected up until this point. Walking in and seeing everything sent my nerves flying.
7. Had a bunch of people hooking me up to IV lines, putting my arms into place, strapping them down, all while being asked questions about myself. I think I might have even spelled my name wrong.
8. The last thing I remember was them putting a tube-thingy in my nose. From there on- I WAS OUT.
9. I remember someone saying my name and I remember, half asleep still saying "is it over" and they said "Yup, you are all finished" as I felt myself rolling in the bed.
10. Next thing I remember was me fighting to open my eyes to see what was going on. Took me a while to be able to do so.
11. After waking up, I was put into a different post-op recovery room where I was given crackers and ginger ale. Bryan was able to come visit me.
12. Once I was fully functioning I was able to leave. They told me they would call me the next day with my results but had retrieved 7 eggs :)

After "7" Eggs were retrieved



Afterwards when I got home I slept for a few hours. I woke up and Bryan had made chili lime chicken burgers and I was STARVING. After eating I felt like myself again, but felt some cramping and some pain. I took an easy the rest of the night and felt very happy about my Mother's Day.

Had to get my first PIO shot. Although this was only 1 needle vs 3 I was used to doing a day, the fact that it was intermuscular and the size was a lot bigger- it was hard to think of the good when looking at the needle. Bryan was a pro and did it perfectly! Using the advice from my favorite blog to read, I numbed the area first for about 2.5 mintues with 3 ice cubes in a bag. Then I laid on a pillow, with another to squeeze (much like the trigger). Last I had a warm rag to massage over it once it was over. Not too bad at all after all.







 

Pulling the Trigger

Contrary to what it would seem- the trigger was NOT as bad as I imagined it to be. With a little advice from my fellow blogger I was able to have the shot with no problem! Actually didn't even know it happened until after it was over. So how did this happen?

Luckily the night of the shot I was having our friends over, and our one friend Lauren happened to work at a dr's office where she gave shots on a daily basis. Boy was I lucky! With her expertise and the advice I read, I did not feel a thing. It was also great to have her because Bryan was able to see how to do it for future PIO shots! He even said "that isn't so bad." Thanks for being a great teacher Lauren!

So here's how I made it so it didn't hurt:

1. Numb the skin by icing it before hand. A zip lock of a few ice cubes did the trick right against the skin.
2. I laid down with a pillow under my stomach. I also used another pillow to squeeze. Although I did not need to squeeze.
3. Have a warm rag ready for after to massage the area and a band aid in case there is any minor bleeding.

The ice was the trick! Made the BIG needle not seem so bad after all. Thanks again Lauren!

The next day I felt some soreness in the area but it wasn't so bad. Had to get used to it for my nightly upcoming PIO injections.

The next day I met the dr doing my retrieval at my Saturday morning appointment. Meeting her, seeing her happy face, and hearing her say "Mother's Day is the perfect day for this" calmed any nervousness. I was ready!

Trigger Day

Knowing that day 8, May 8, might be my last night of stim meds, I was excited and felt like I had completed something tougher than I thought I would be able to. I went to bed excited knowing I could possibly trigger the next night.

 

May 9= Trigger Day. I woke up and went to my morning appointment. I was still proud of myself for what I had done along the way, with support from friends and family. Bryan couldn't have done more for me to support me. He found ways to keep my spirits up when I started to struggle.

 

 

 

When the nurse told me I was ready for this I was very excited. She called around 3pm on Friday and gave me these directions:

 

1. Trigger Shot at midnight
2. Come in tomorrow for last blood work and ultrasound
3. Sunday morning arrive at 10AM for retrieval. No make up, deodorant, jewelery, perfume..
4. The next time you will come here to the office after tomorrow is May 18 for progesterone check and May 25 for pregnancy test.
5. Good Luck!

I was in a state of shock! The time had finally come. And to be told my retrieval, which would also be the day of conceiving, was on Mother's Day, I knew my angels were looking down over me.

 

 
 

Day 4 through Day 8 of Stims

Day 4 through Day 8 was the same routine, 300 Follistim in the morning, 150 Menopur at night. On day 4 at my routine morning appointment, the dr told me to start my new shot at night, and do it at the same time as the menopur. This was Ganarelix. And BOY did it hurt. The first night I attempted to give it in my stomach like all the other shots. BAD IDEA.

The day after the first Ganarelix I was still in pain and had to wear a dress due to the bloating and the fact that pants pressed down on my sore stomach. The second night I tried to do the shot in my upper thigh, and that was much better. Not as much pain and easier to find a place to do it since my stomach was hard with all the other shots I was giving.

Day 5, 6, 7, 8 were all the same.

On May 7 I asked the dr at my routine morning appointment when she though I would have my retrieval. She said " Possible End of week, weekend" and that was the best news I could hear! Just knowing it was close was all I needed.

Day 8 (May 8) I went in hoping to be able to do my "trigger shot" that night. The nurse went over all the protocol for the Trigger shot, the instructions for the 2 days prior to retrieval and directions for the day of and night of retrieval. Although I was excited, all the new directions began giving me anxiety again. I was just getting used to my "morning" and "nightly" routine. Introducing new shots, in a new area with many new directions was a little scary. But I was up for the challenge.

Day 4 Follicles picture- growing a little bigger each day :)
 

 

Daily Routines

May 2 through May 4 this was my daily routine.

 

 

6:00 am Routine bloodwork and ultrasound at the hospital.

Side effects I am noticing:

Follistim: Discomfort in belly area, Some bloating.

Menopur: Stinging when shot is given. Ice helps, A LOT.

BW/US- My arms are starting to hurt!!

Next Steps

Starting a blog was easier said then done while going through this process. I wanted to update it everynight but waking up at 445am everyday for routine bloodwork and utlrasound, and the effects of the meds making me tired, I wasn't able to write as often as I wanted, or at all!

April 30 was the day I was supposed to start my stimulation shots. But, as everything else has been in this process, more waiting was needed. Although I was ready, my body was not. So they told me to come in the following morning for ultrasound and bloodwork again.

May 1. Seemed like the perfect day to start and it was. Woke up early and went to my bloodwork and ultrasound (BW & U/S) appointment. The nurse said they would call me later with directions if I was to start. As the day went on I waited for that call. Each time my phone would ring I would get so excited. CVS called. The bank called. My dad called. Some random number called. None of was what I wanted to see on the caller ID. Finally at 1:29 "St Barnabus" showed up on my caller ID. Nurse had great news I could start that night. Her directions were " Tonight take 300 Follistim, 150 of Menopur, 300 F  Friday morning, Friday night 150 Menopur, Saturday morning 300 F, and come in for bloodwork and ultrasound Saturday morning after the 300 F." I was SO excited. Even if it meant sticking myself with all those needles!

 

 

 Night one wasn't so bad. The anticipation was the worst part. Bryan didn't think he would be able to watch but he was able to. I even had him take a video of me doing this. Its funny to watch now. The shots did not hurt as bad as they seemed. The idea is worse then the actual shot.

 

Some feedback:

 

Follistim- no pain at all, just tender at the injection site.

 

Menopur- A slight burning when the medicine is going in.

 

All in all, not as bad as it seemed! Went to bed full of adriniline because of the excitement I now had. 



Rewind: My Roller Coaster

April 29, 2014

After some inspiration from a fellow-blogger, and wanting to remember this process, I decided to start a blog. But my story begins long before this blog did. So a little rewind...

It has been a roller coaster to get to this point. We started off trying to get pregnant the "normal" way. At first I thought "maybe its because I was on birth control for so long that it is taking me a little longer to get pregnant." Some of my friends got pregnant without even trying, so I figured, I just may be a little different. Each month would go by and my hopes would get up and then - Negative. It all started when my friend told me that I shouldn't try to "plan out" my pregnancy. She said "let it happen naturally" so I did. I went off birth control before I had planned and I figured I would not try yet, but I wouldn't be not trying either. That was September of 2012. Every month after that was the same idea. Try but not try. Finally in December we decided to actually try. Boy was I upset when in January I wasn't pregnant. I didn't understand why it didn't work. My friend Deanna bought me an ovulation kit in one of the following months. Between the kit and tracking on my 8 iPhone apps, I was SURE that every month was it. Nope.

After many many months of trying, I went and saw my ob-gyn and explained my concern. She did some tests and found out I had "cysts." We had these checked out and they turned out to be nothing. Phew.

But I still wasn't pregnant. Now its June. My one friend had gotten pregnant had had a beautiful baby boy in the time I had been trying. So I just kept on trying. July. August (I was SURE this was THE month). Nope.

Finally, I switched ob-gyns. After my gynecologist was very dismissive, I decided to read reviews on her. They were awful and it was at that time I went to my new doctor that my friends recommended. August 27 was my appointment. I remember this date so clearly because I felt like a new beginning. That appointment went very well and I LOVED my new doctor. She knew my concern and right away gave me the name of a fertility Dr. And that's how this process all began.

September- First appointment with new dr. Was VERY excited and VERY nervous. The checklist they give you to even gets started seemed like a full time job. But I got started.

October- Working on that checklist. HSG scheduled for this month. Worst procedure of my life. I am glad I didn't read up on this before hand because I would have freaked out.

November- began more testing and started planning for artificial insemination. Was very excited about this! Started Clomid and for the first time felt artificial hormones. Not the best feeling.

December- Artificial Insemination. Had a GREAT feeling about this. Told everyone. Was CONVINCED I was having triplets. Nope. Not.even.one.

January- Lets try this again! This time has got to work! Nope.

February- Decided to ask insurance to skip another artificial insemination and go straight to IVF. That was a great idea. Except it meant getting insurance approval, which took a few weeks. Then needed to order new meds, which took another few weeks and $8,000 (THANK GOD for insurance reimbursements). Finally meds came!!! Going to start in March!

March- Ovarian cysts. Gotta wait till they go away, went on birth control until that happened.

Mid-march- broke through birth control. Have to wait till I get my period.

April- no cysts! But Lab is closed until April 13, so need to start birth control again.

Mid- April- Lab Open! Broke through birth control. Have to wait for period again.


April 29, 2014- GOT MY PERIOD. Now, normally, most people who are trying as hard as I am to get pregnant would not be as excited as I was to get my period. But this was the most excited I had been in a long time. This meant, finally I can begin.